Moving into my apartment felt wonderful. All my belongings that had been locked away in storage were back in their rightful place. I regained the freedom of an independent adult. My job was going well too.

I quickly established myself in the DC dating scene and noticed there was a different vibe from other cities. Most of the girls I met had good jobs, were career focused, and marriage minded. Dates tended to be less relaxed more serious. The first girl I met was Crystal. I visited her in Baltimore. The date was long and mostly boring.

I also started hanging out with one of the most beautiful girls I had ever met. She was an Indian girl named Rima. She was 23 years old, had hair that came down to her waist. She was a co-worker and most people in the office thought we were dating. We weren’t but had an intense friendship. We jogged together, ate lunch together, and talked on the phone all the time. I learned so much about Indian culture from her.

I liked her. She might have liked me. However, she clearly stated that she was not a Christian. I shared my testimony on how I got saved. She politely listened but did not engage in the conversation.

I continued to hang out with her and other girls. This was the most dangerous period in my life. The temptation to sleep with a woman wasn’t as great as the previous times in my life. But it was still there. And the consequences were much greater. If I got hooked up with the wrong woman or wasted time in a bad relationship, I could have missed out on a wife.


Toward the end of 2016, my dating life shifted into overdrive. I returned to my old binge dating ways. The highlight was that I managed to go out on 5 dates (with Michelle, Joyce, Shawna, Renita, and Helen) all in the span of 2.5 days. They were all attractive and intelligence women. I spent about 3-4 hours with each of them at coffee shops, restaurants, and book stores. As I moved from date to date within a day, I tried to eat as less as possible so my stomach wouldn’t explode.

The capstone was a New Years’ Eve party that I invited a girl named Bonsita to attend. I met her a month earlier at a Christian poetry show. She was pretty and one of the most curvy girls I had gone out with. She was “thick” as they say.

The party was on a boat and organized by my church. To my surprise, secular music was on rotation. I was shocked that Lil Jon’s “From the Window to the Wall” was played at a supposedly Christian event. It was the censored version, but still!

The date was ok. While talking to her, I began to realize that we didn’t have a lot in common. She wasn’t even a good option for a wife. Her wifey score was under 60%. Once the event was all over, I dropped her off at her apartment.

I got home at 1am and felt horrible. Something I had eaten upset my stomach. The thought of vomiting in the bushes crossed my mind if I didn’t make it in the house in time.

But the sickness was greater than that. The exhaustion of the last 7 days had caught up with me. I was spent. And empty. I had gone out with some great girls but I felt so unfulfilled. It was all smoke and no fire. I accomplished nothing other than find some good hanging out partners. I had found zero girls I wanted to marry. I was sick of this life. Sick of the emptiness. I was done with dating. I withdrew, stopped communicating with any women. I was done.

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